A Long Road
Home
By Noah
Hotchkiss
Life is like a metaphor you have a long way to go and at times it may seem difficult
but when you finally persevere past the obstacles you feel great. For me there
were two stories on my road to my identity, the story of when I was able to walk
and the story of when I am wheelchair bound. As I progressed in life, the battle
of adapting to the fact that I wasn’t able to walk proved to be difficult,
educational, terrifying, and inspirational. My identity mask shows the road I
had to travel in order to find myself given the obstacles I face. Obstacles such
as the social perspective that society has on wheelchair bound citizens and the
obstacle of my own perspective of being Native
American.
The right side of my mask represents the social side of what society wants me to be.
Usually I am socialized by what I wear, how I smell, which group of friends I
hang out with, how I talk, gender, race, and even my sexual orientation. If I
were to wear pajamas and high heels I would have broken a small rule of fashion.
If I do not bathe on a regular basis I am classified as poor as well as stinky.
Being a boy I have certain standards I have to live up to such as being a
protector, being strong, not crying in public, and always keeping my “cool.”
I am both Native American and Caucasian, and I struggle to choose between my religious cultural ways and
pursuing Caucasian success. The Native culture truly interests me, and I don’t
want to give that up in order to have a comfortable Caucasian-type lifestyle.
But I don’t want to end up drinking my problems away. It’s just so hard to try
and find a balance. The reason why I say that is because if I go to college then
my family will think I’m better than them and will hate me for my success. That
said has brought me to think maybe I’m doing bad in school because I’m scared of
losing my family for what will be better for me in the long
run.
My religious side is not much to see anymore as I’ve been going down the road and
all the Native bulletins have disappeared. It feels like I’m being pulled away.
My native ways are more subtle and lifelong lessons like don’t yell; brush your
teeth etc… I think that the native people have been socialized because now days.
Native Americans are lazy and getting obese. I think the reason is that because
that Native people have been socialized to believe that they don’t have to work.
People think that we get free housing, get a lot of money, work at casinos then
waste all of it to drink, and be miserable. Even though most of that is true I
think it’s true because society made it true. By giving them money and free
housing and food that the native people just don’t think they need to work.
That’s why I think I’m moving away or seeing less of my native side and seeing
more of the Caucasian society side. The reason why I think that is because
society made me see the side of my native life and now I don’t really want to
grow up and be like that. By That I mean drinking and living paycheck to pay
check. I just think that it’s sad that the people who had to endure the harder
stuff in their lives and had big hearts let the smallest thing get to
them.
3 years of my life have been all about the big wheels. The reason I’m saying that
is because I’ve been in a wheelchair for 3 years and honestly it’s a lot harder
that it seems. But not all of is hard like getting to hugs from the cheerleaders
at a broncos football game.
Another reason is getting a little more respect. But it’s not the same,
being in a wheelchair is a lot harder than it seams because I haft to be strong
when I can’t do some things. That’s why my mask has stairs because that is what
society sees me as limited and sometimes I see myself as limited to. But I’ve
been working hard enough to see past the limited side by trying overcome things
like walking. But that does not mean I can’t be happy because more opportunities
are showing up for me. Also is seems to have helped me become more of a man.
This brings me to wonder maybe my Ute side was smart because they said, “That if
you have a horse that means you will have great success in the future.” Maybe
the wheelchair is my horse and success lies
ahead.
Home
By Noah
Hotchkiss
Life is like a metaphor you have a long way to go and at times it may seem difficult
but when you finally persevere past the obstacles you feel great. For me there
were two stories on my road to my identity, the story of when I was able to walk
and the story of when I am wheelchair bound. As I progressed in life, the battle
of adapting to the fact that I wasn’t able to walk proved to be difficult,
educational, terrifying, and inspirational. My identity mask shows the road I
had to travel in order to find myself given the obstacles I face. Obstacles such
as the social perspective that society has on wheelchair bound citizens and the
obstacle of my own perspective of being Native
American.
The right side of my mask represents the social side of what society wants me to be.
Usually I am socialized by what I wear, how I smell, which group of friends I
hang out with, how I talk, gender, race, and even my sexual orientation. If I
were to wear pajamas and high heels I would have broken a small rule of fashion.
If I do not bathe on a regular basis I am classified as poor as well as stinky.
Being a boy I have certain standards I have to live up to such as being a
protector, being strong, not crying in public, and always keeping my “cool.”
I am both Native American and Caucasian, and I struggle to choose between my religious cultural ways and
pursuing Caucasian success. The Native culture truly interests me, and I don’t
want to give that up in order to have a comfortable Caucasian-type lifestyle.
But I don’t want to end up drinking my problems away. It’s just so hard to try
and find a balance. The reason why I say that is because if I go to college then
my family will think I’m better than them and will hate me for my success. That
said has brought me to think maybe I’m doing bad in school because I’m scared of
losing my family for what will be better for me in the long
run.
My religious side is not much to see anymore as I’ve been going down the road and
all the Native bulletins have disappeared. It feels like I’m being pulled away.
My native ways are more subtle and lifelong lessons like don’t yell; brush your
teeth etc… I think that the native people have been socialized because now days.
Native Americans are lazy and getting obese. I think the reason is that because
that Native people have been socialized to believe that they don’t have to work.
People think that we get free housing, get a lot of money, work at casinos then
waste all of it to drink, and be miserable. Even though most of that is true I
think it’s true because society made it true. By giving them money and free
housing and food that the native people just don’t think they need to work.
That’s why I think I’m moving away or seeing less of my native side and seeing
more of the Caucasian society side. The reason why I think that is because
society made me see the side of my native life and now I don’t really want to
grow up and be like that. By That I mean drinking and living paycheck to pay
check. I just think that it’s sad that the people who had to endure the harder
stuff in their lives and had big hearts let the smallest thing get to
them.
3 years of my life have been all about the big wheels. The reason I’m saying that
is because I’ve been in a wheelchair for 3 years and honestly it’s a lot harder
that it seems. But not all of is hard like getting to hugs from the cheerleaders
at a broncos football game.
Another reason is getting a little more respect. But it’s not the same,
being in a wheelchair is a lot harder than it seams because I haft to be strong
when I can’t do some things. That’s why my mask has stairs because that is what
society sees me as limited and sometimes I see myself as limited to. But I’ve
been working hard enough to see past the limited side by trying overcome things
like walking. But that does not mean I can’t be happy because more opportunities
are showing up for me. Also is seems to have helped me become more of a man.
This brings me to wonder maybe my Ute side was smart because they said, “That if
you have a horse that means you will have great success in the future.” Maybe
the wheelchair is my horse and success lies
ahead.